Day 16 and 17 - The Power of Imagination

There is a reason I didn't blog yesterday. I was embarrassed and felt that not only did I let myself down, but I let down Glen, Larissa, Maria, and everyone else who is rooting for me.

I had the worst day ever and I have no one to blame but myself. I want to apologize now to everyone I spoke with yesterday for not being honest. Not only did I scarf down an extra healthy meal, but I ate an entire Truffle Pig; the dark chocolate hazelnut kind. I was so mad at myself I hid in bed for 3 hours. This kind of behavior leads to a real downward spiral.

Although it doesn't sound like a big deal compared to what the average American eats, I consumed 780 calories more than I was supposed to. I am not starving myself; I eat between 1400 and 1600 calories a day. Lucky for me, I am 6 weeks out and have time to make it up, but I cannot afford another slip up.

I was practically crying to Maria this morning and I was definitely not planning on telling Larissa or blogging about it. People may think I am not serious about this, but I am 100% committed to my goals. I decided to blog because after speaking with my friends, I realized everyone does this but no one talks about it.

So why did I slip up?

Maria explained that fitness competitors are some of the most disciplined people in the world; they go against every instinct in their body, fighting through hunger and fatigue, to be the best they can. She said people tend to breakdown during the last 8 weeks of the cycle and you have to stay focused. If you have a bad day, leave it at that; wake up the next morning and go for it like it is a fresh slate.

Of all her advice, this is the best thing she could have said:
Visualise this: No matter how hungry you are, there is a girl out there hungrier than you, who is squatting more weight, pushing harder, and wanting the win more. You are competing against that girl on November 4th.

If she can squat more weight, I need to do more than her. I need to be dialed in on my diet. When I am hungry, I need to imagine she is hungrier and stronger than me. What Maria said lit a fire in me and made me feel better. I can beat that punk. I imagine this punk looks a lot like her.

Our minds will trick us into thinking it is okay to overeat. When we drop a little weight, we "reward" ourselves with a treat. We tell ourselves what we are eating is healthy. If it isn't healthy, we tell ourselves we will work it off, or that since our body craves it we must need it.

The only way to make it to the end is to imagine everyday that I am standing in front of the judges, holding my heavy trophy, smiling uncontrollably and looking amazing. Everyday, I need to see this picture in my head, otherwise I will forget why I am working so hard and let my mind trick me into eating another chocolate pig. You don't need the extra slice of pizza, you don't need the chocolate, a few calories less won't hurt you no matter what your mind is tricking you to do. The body is smarter than the mind. Don't believe me? Try tickling yourself.

I woke up this morning and enjoyed my oatmeal pancakes with almond butter and a cup of coffee. It helps when you set the table and make each meal feel special. Larissa and I hit upper body hard today.

Upper Body Workout:

• Warm Up:
• 5 Atomic Push ups
• 5 Deep Rows
• 4 sets (for a total of 20 reps)
• Workout:
• Circuit 1
• 12 Spiderman push ups
• 12 pulls ups (feel free to use the assisted pull up machine)
• 3 sets
• Circuit 2
• 10 stability ball power push ups
• 10 side to side ball slam downs
• 4 sets

This is my first attempt at a fitness video so please excuse the editing. In it, I (quickly) go over the form for a few of the exercises listed above. Next time I will film before I workout.

According to Maria, I may not be getting enough carbohydrates in the mornings so for the next 20 days I will be increasing my intake. For today's post workout meal, I enjoyed a green juice with 1/2 a yam, 6 egg whites, and 1/4 an avocado. I can't even begin to tell you how great I feel.

Tonight, my friends and I are going 80's Roller Skating. It will be a disaster and I cannot wait!
PS 60 minutes of roller skating with your friends equals about 300 calories. I will be there for several hours. Whoohoo!

Day 11 - I am Starving

I woke up this morning to a brand new low on the scale; I dropped 2.8 lbs in the last 11 days. My hard work is starting to show. For some reason, I am starving, and anything around me is at risk. I called Glen for some back up plans. He said I can curb my chocolate craving with unsweetened cocoa powder and water or rice milk. Worst case scenario, I should munch on a protein bar.

So I walked to real foods to load up on more veggies, Scharfen Berger Cocoa Powder, and I made the mistake of buying a 3 Mojo Bars. I looked through the protein bars for the cleanest most balance options and settled on those because they were lower in fat and higher in protein and carbohydrates.


Around 11 I had my coffee, rice milk and 1 tbsp cocoa powder. It was pretty good actually. By 1 pm I was hungry again so I went back to Corsgna Deli for my favorite tuna salad. After I devoured that, I started circling the Mojo bars. I rationed that I probably need the extra calories because of all of my hard work so I sat down and slowly savored the first bar. 20 minutes later, I devoured the second bar. I made it halfway down the third bar before throwing it away. In less than an hour, I ate an extra 500 calories. I feel terrible about what I did, but not as bad as if I'd eaten a cupcake or what I've really been dreaming of, a Ghiradelli double chocolate chip brownie topped with two scoops of vanilla ice cream. I am starting to lose focus the harder this is getting. I am always hungry. I'm hungry right now.

What I am most upset about is that, my weight dropped and instead of continuing my hard work, I indulged in protein bars.

On a positive note, I had a pretty good workout. I am sore everywhere; chest, back, legs, abs, everywhere. I am starving and weak. I knew if I didn't verbalize my workout to Larissa, I would lie and end early.

Workout:
4 sets of 3 chest and 3 back exercise, 15 reps for each exercise.

We got through the whole thing, but we took some longer rests. I think we were just exhausted by Friday.

Days 5 and 6 - I Caved

Friday was rough. I tried, but not hard enough. Being away from home, not having my 4 meals readily available, and a lack of healthy options are wearing me down.

After lunch, I went 7 hours without food. By the time we sat down at Perry's Steakhouse, my judgement was slightly impaired. I split a salad, avoided the bread, sipped on iced tea, and ordered a petit fillet mignon with broccolini. I was satisfied, then the waiter came around and asked if we wanted dessert. I reluctantly said no, but he insisted I needed to hear about the decadent Godiva chocolate cake with molten center and melted white chocolate on top, served with a scoop of creamy vanilla bean ice scream. Anyone who knows me will tell you my weakness is chocolate and coffee. I would give up just about anything for a good chocolate. I said, "bring it on" without skipping a beat.


Luckily, it took 20 minutes for the dessert to be assembled, so I had time to reflect on my decision and text my coach, like a true chocoholic, for support. She sternly reminded me that I have 9 weeks till I parade around 500 people in a bikini and the sugar will show. I asked my husband to help me be stronger. I want to win more than I want chocolate (it's a close tie, but I would rather look amazing). He let me have two bites, then he devoured the rest. He blew up right away.


After dinner, we hit up town. My favorite cocktail was a sugar-free, virgin mojito. On a side note, the bartenders get confused when you ask for this so let them know you just want muddled lime and mint with soda water. They will still mess up, but it's yummy and you don't feel out of place at a bar with this mocktail hand. When I could find iced-tea, I would drink that instead. The wine is not mine, I promise.







What I learned the past two days, is that I should have packed/bought snacks to help me through the day. Most people binge on 2 meals a day. If I had protein bars, I would have maintained my 4-5 mini meals per day so that by lunch or dinner I was not famished. That was my biggest mistake.

I did my leg workout on Friday as scheduled, and planned to run sprints on Saturday, but never got to it since we drove to San Antonio after breakfast then walked all over town. I knew I burned enough calories, but nothing leans me out like sprints. For lunch, I had a chicken burrito without cheese or sour cream, but only ate the inside. I wanted the fajitas for the grilled veggies but was worried it would be soaked in oil. For dinner, I enjoyed fresh guacamole, made in front of us, herb crusted fish, and apple pie gum for dessert.

I wasn't perfect, but I avoided cheese, creams, alcohol, sugar, and processed foods. I drank so much water, I am sure I am flushing out most of the sodium. My stomach feels rock hard but my legs are swollen from the heat.

We had a blast on the River Walk. Check out my first magazine shoot. It was great motivation to stay on track ;)
















Today is my usual day off from exercise. I ordered breakfast in bed; fresh fruit, two egg scramble, coffee and water; best wake up call ever. I am going to be honest, I've had more coffee and gum this weekend than ever in my life. I am very full now, but it will be 6 hours till my next meal. We are invited to lunch, so I can't check out the menu before hand to pick the healthiest option. I will let you know how that goes.


- Posted from Linda's iPad.

Location:Congress Ave,Austin,United States